The Position of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on the Issue of Suicide

Earlier today I asked Twitter if they'd be interested in reading the paper I wrote on the church's official position on suicide. I got a few responses, all in the affirmative, so here it is. I will be posting 3 parts: the summery/conclusion, which is a summary of the quotes I found; personal insights, which are reasons why I choose this topic (I could choose anything to look up the Church's position); and sources of all my quotes. I had to have at least two quotes by Presidents of the Church, the combined first presidency, or other official church sources (LDS Newsroom, Church Handbook of Instruction, etc.). I could then supplement with quotes from other general authorities (and I did). 

Conclusion/Summary

            From the attached research, I find the position of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on the issue of suicide to be:

                        The Church is against suicide, but it recognizes that those who commit suicide aren’t always in their proper state of mind and as such may not be held responsible for their decision.

            President Spencer W. Kimball said, “It is a terrible criminal act for a person to go out and shorten his life by suicide” (1982). However, he also said, “To commit suicide is a sin if one is normal in his thinking” (italics added). Far too many people fall into depression and don’t get help, either because they do not recognize what is happening, they don’t think they need help, or they can’t afford it. All of these are tragic, and any of them could lead to suicide.

Unfortunately, many family members and friends of those who commit suicide believe that all hope is lost and that their loved one is stuck in the telestial kingdom forever (Ballard, 1987). But this is not true.

            The Church Handbook of Instruction, states: “It is wrong to take a life, including one’s own. However, a person who commits suicide may not be responsible for his or her acts. Only God can judge such a matter” (2010).

            Elder Bruce R. McConkie, formerly of the Quorum of the Twelve, defined suicide as “the voluntary and intentional taking of one’s own life, particularly where the person involved is accountable and has a sound mind” (1966). With this definition, it’s hard to know exactly how many people are taking their own lives have a sound mind, and thus are condemned. It’s good to take this all into consideration.

            D&C 138: 57-59 discusses those who die “under the bondage of sin,” stating that “after they have paid the penalty of their transgressions, and are washed clean, shall receive a reward according to their works.” This points to a situation where someone might have been a good member of the church, following the commandments, doing what they’re supposed to, and if they fall victim to depression and kill themselves, their good works will not be for naught.

Personal Insights

            I have a very personal reason to research this topic. As you may remember, I took your class in the fall of 2009 but had to withdraw at the end of October. My granddad had died, and I went over to England to help my mom go through his house and properly dispose of his belongings. But even before that, I was struggling. You see, in September of that year I was diagnosed with depression, and I spent the rest of the year severely depressed and suicidal (luckily in January I was able to see a psychiatrist and things have gotten better). During those few months, every day was a challenge. And so back then, I decided to research this for my paper, mainly to see what would be my fate if I choose to do such a thing.

            To me, this information is both a comfort and a warning. If my depression comes back so bad and so fast that I do lose clarity of mind, and decide that the world would be better without me, I would not be automatically damned for committing suicide. On the other hand, if I decide today that life is just really hard and I just don’t feel like completing this earthly test, I would be held more accountable in that state of mind. In neither instance is suicide in any way a good thing, or endorsed, but in the first one it is more understood.

Research

Official Statements:

“It is a terrible criminal act for a person to go out and shorten his life by suicide”

“To commit suicide is a sin if one is normal in his thinking.”

Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982, p. 187.)

It is wrong to take a life, including one’s own. However, a person who commits suicide may not be responsible for his or her acts. Only God can judge such a matter.

            Church Handbook of Instruction, 2010

“I beheld that the faithful elders of this dispensation, when they depart from mortal life, continue their labors in the preaching of the gospel of repentance and redemption, through the sacrifice of the Only Begotten Son of God, among those who are in darkness and under the bondage of sin in the great world of the spirits of the dead.

“The dead who repent will be redeemed, through obedience to the ordinances of the house of God,

“And after they have paid the penalty of their transgressions, and are washed clean, shall receive a reward according to their works, for they are heirs of salvation.”

D&C 138:57–59

Other sources:

“Suicide consists in the voluntary and intentional taking of one’s own life, particularly where the person involved is accountable and has a sound mind. … Persons subject to great stresses may lose control of themselves and become mentally clouded to the point that they are no longer accountable for their acts. Such are not to be condemned for taking their own lives. It should also be remembered that judgment is the Lord’s; he knows the thoughts, intents, and abilities of men; and he in his infinite wisdom will make all things right in due course.”

            Mormon Doctrine, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966, p. 771

 I know that any fully rational person who contemplates suicide must realize what a terribly selfish act this is. Peace came to me only when I recognized that only the Lord could administer fair judgment. He alone had all the facts, and only He would know the intent of the heart of my friend. I was reconciled with the idea that a lifetime of goodness and service to others must surely be considered by the Lord in judging the life of a person.

When he does judge us, I feel he will take all things into consideration: our genetic and chemical makeup, our mental state, our intellectual capacity, the teachings we have received, the traditions of our fathers, our health, and so forth.

I draw an important conclusion from the words of the Prophet: Suicide is a sin—a very grievous one, yet the Lord will not judge the person who commits that sin strictly by the act itself. The Lord will look at that person’s circumstances and the degree of his accountability at the time of the act.

            Elder M. Russell Ballard – Suicide: Some Things We Know, and Some We Do Not. October 1987 Ensign

An Apology

As I talked about here, last Tuesday my teacher said some pretty hurtful things, joking about depression, anorexia, and abortion.

Luckily we had a mid-course evaluation last week, so I was able to tell him, anonymously, how hurtful it was and even if he didn't mean it that way, it was not good.

So, I went to class last night. Truthfully, I wasn't even sure if he'd bring it up. He seems like a nice enough guy, but this is a delicate topic, and would he bring up how wrong he was? Would he apologize?

Luckily, he did both. We went over the results of the mid-course evaluation, which were pretty boring for me. But I noticed on the PowerPoint there was a bullet that addressed this. So I sat patiently. 

When he got to that bullet-point, he said "I'm sorry if I get emotional" and proceeded to apologize. He mentioned that only a few people brought this up, but he felt it was important enough that he needed to address it. He was generally upset that he had offended anyone. He basically broke into tears. I was impressed. I still am. 

Which brings me to my point: part of me really wants to email him and thank him for being so humble to apologize - that it means a lot to me. 

Should I? 

I need some advice

So, I have a problem. Yesterday I poked my head around twitter looking for a therapist. I don't want to try a BYU councilor again, besides I'm graduating! Anyway, someone recommended one and he looks pretty cool.

The problem? He doesn't bill insurance. So, I have a few options:

1- Talk to my insurance company and do the billing myself, getting reimbursed/whatever

2- Talk to my bishop and see if my church would help me pay for it

3- Just go somewhere cheaper

I mentioned option two to my mom last night and she really didn't like it. She said that my bishop would just have me go to my family first. She didn't understand why he didn't bill insurance, and couldn't understand why I didn't go to a cheaper (much cheaper, kind of charity cheap) therapist.

Anyway, she sighed and said that she and my dad would pay for it. While looking worried. I already owe them tons of money. And retirement is coming up in just a few years. They can't afford this.

Anyway, advice?

Music

I woke up in a better mood than I thought I would. But, of course, it's gradually gone downhill. And since I've been awake for about seven hours now, I'm not in the best shape right now. Gosh, I can barely keep up with Twitter.

My whole body aches. I have no idea how I'm going to get through my 'dance' class. I guess I'm going to have to tell my professor my situation. I hope he understand. Because...I just can't. I can barely type.

Anyway, I'm trying to feel a little better. And something that has a huge influence on my mood is my music. So I'm asking you, dear friends, for suggestions for my playlist. This is what I have so far:

- Some Nights by fun.
- It Gets Better by fun.
- Madness by Muse
- I Will Wait by Mumford & Sons
- Underdog by Imagine Dragons
- Demons by Imagine Dragons


What else should I add?

Hi

This is probably a bit much for a first post. But I'm not feeling great. I'm tired. I'm stressed. And my class made everything worse. So, I'm posting this story. Because I feel it explains some things. Or maybe I just want it out there. 

One last thought: I'm not currently suicidal. Don't go calling the cops or anything. I'm not going to kill myself. I'm going to go home and sleep. And probably cry. That is all. 

I have to write this. I’ve been meaning to write this for over a year. Maybe two. And even now it’s hard to put down the words. Maybe I’ve been overreacting this whole time. Maybe all this pain and hurt is made up. But I don’t think so. I’ve been avoiding writing this because I know it’s going to hurt. But I have to heal. I have to do this so I can share it with others, share why I have such a complicated relationship with suicide, with my mother, with counselors.

I don’t remember exactly when it was. I’m pretty sure I was in school. Winter semester? Maybe ’10? I was feeling down. I think it was a Wednesday. I had seen Derek (my councilor) and things had gone pretty much the same as they always did: we talked about meaningless stuff and it didn’t really do much but kinda sorta helped. Anyway, after that I had some time before my ride was going to leave. Of course, I got onto twitter and was making random replies. Most of them alluding to suicide. Because that was the mood I was in. Anyway, a twitter follower noticed. And got kinda mad at me. And asked if I was serious. And I said sort of. She told me to go see my counselor. I told her I’d already seen him that day. She said she didn’t care, go back to the counseling center and ask to see him, or she’d tell my parents. So I did. Because I didn’t want to face my parents.

I walked in. I remember being really nervous. I asked to see him. The receptionist asked if I had an appointment (maybe she didn’t, maybe she recognized that I had been in there earlier, I don’t remember). Anyway, I remember that he was actually upstairs in his other office, but they said he’d come down. So I went and laid down on his couch and waited for him, not thinking about much.

He came in. We talked a little. I don’t remember really, something something suicide, plan, whatever. He left the room to grab some papers to get me admitted to the hospital. I just laid there and thought of nothing. It was easy.

After an incredibly long period of time, he came back in empty handed. He said he thought about it and decided it would be best if we called my parents and had them admit me instead. I thought this was a terrible idea, since the whole reason I went to see him was so I didn’t have to talk to my parents about suicide, which is awkward no matter who you’re talking to.

He called my mom on speakerphone. We called my dad. My ride called and I had to tell her that I’d get a different ride home. My dad came and picked me up. I don’t remember the ride home. It wasn’t very eventful. We got home. And then things really went downhill.

You see since it was Wednesday, my parents had a genealogy class they were teaching. And my mom’s One Big Passion is family history. So she asked me, her suicidal daughter, if it could wait. If they could wait and admit me after the class. Because heaven forbid they cancel the class! As you can tell I’m bitter about this. Very bitter.

So they taught their class. I sat in a La-Z-Boy in the corner, trying not to think, trying not to feel. Failing. Because my parents just chose dead people and class members over their own daughter. Over me.

After class mom asked me if I still wanted to be admitted. Since it was never really my idea in the first place, I said no. She asked if I’d promise not to kill myself. I said sure. I went up to bed. I cried myself to sleep.

The next morning I got up and went to school, as if nothing had changed. But something had.

        

 I've been struggling these past few months. But I thought that if I could at least make it through this semester, I’d graduate and I’d be done. I could then figure stuff out. Maybe find a therapist. But tonight, that changed.

I went to my Psychological Development: Adolescence class.  The first half was presentations and stuff, but then we started talking about the chapter which was, apparently, on Adolescent Problems. First on the list: depression. So we talked about depression, blah blah blah. Then we talked about why maybe girls attempt suicide 4x more than guys, but guys succeed 4x more than girls. Talked about maybe it being different means of suicide. Then my teacher made a huge mistake. He said “I’ve never really thought about killing myself, but if I did, I’d want to make sure it was a way that actually did the job, you know?”

Now I’m sitting there, on the front row, and suicide was already on my mind (it’s been on my mind every day for probably over a year, to be honest). And then he says that. He also mentioned that “We don’t really have any effective therapies for Major Depressive Disorder.” Guess what type of depression I deal with? Major. So in the time span of about 10 minutes he’s said both 1 – whatever therapies you try won’t work, so don’t try, and 2 – if you do try to commit suicide, go big or go home. Make sure you don’t just attempt.

This is when I turned to twitter. Which has saved me in the past. I need to find a therapist. And probably talk to a Psychiatrist. And a million other things. As well as get through the next six weeks of school. I just don’t know if I can do this.